


My Fault.

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Angst, F/F, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, References to Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 13:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Where Rose is abusive towards Kanaya. Warning for abuse, and implied non-con.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Fault.

“Gangmayaaa, I looove you, ehe…!”

You immediately sat up from your desk, where you were painfully hand stitching a new shirt. You knew that whenever you heard those words, it meant you were almost certainly in trouble. The slur of her vowels, the way she cooed your name, it all sent shivers down your spine. “Good evening, Rose.” You coldly muttered your words, hoping they’d drive her away, when really; they just drew her closer to you. “Hey, hey, hey, Kangmayar, howss aboutss we do some… stuff. If you gets my driffft. Whaddaya say?” She walked over and stood behind your chair, murmured into your ear, as her hands wandered over your stiff body. The way she touched you when you were drunk made you feel dirty, and at the same time, brought a feeling of guilt. “Not tonight. I don’t think you’re in such a state to-“ She cut off your words with a sloppy kiss, and you could clearly taste the bitterness of her drinks on your lips. You would either have to submit to her, or fight her off and get her to go to her own bed. Tonight, you really weren’t in the mood to engage in any sort of activity with her. You gently pushed her away, removing her lips from yours. “Please, I don’t want to do those things tonight. Please.” 

She stared at you, a scowl appearing on her face. At first, she tried to reason with you, using that ghastly high-pitched tone in her voice. You wondered if her lusus was like this too. “Coome onnn, don’t be laaame! It’ll be funn…” She purred into your skin as she spoke, and she stunk of what might’ve been wine, or whiskey. You weren’t quite sure, and to be honest, you didn’t want to know. “I-I told you, no…! I r-really don’t want to… please…” At this point, you were begging, trying to move her hands away from you. The feeling of dirtiness was starting to return, and just as you were about to start shouting, she went silent and stopped. Whenever she went silent, it worried you. It didn’t mean good things. “Seriouslyy, fuck you Kanamaya! I, just like, wanna do one thing but you’re such a bitch! I fuckin, like, want you right now! You piece of shit!” She raised her voice as she spoke, and you cowered beneath her. You tried to stand, but she pushed you harshly back into your rigid wooden seat. “You only have one fucking job Kanaya! You’re such a fuckup!”

_**Smack**_.

You felt a harsh blow, and your vision blurred for a moment. You ended up on the floor. Tears sprung to your eyes, and your breath escaped you for a moment.

It was happening again.

“W-wait! Rose I-I’ll engage in sexual acts with you okay! Please don’t hit me again!” You could’ve stood up to her if you wanted to. You were stronger than her, but you still feared her. You didn’t want to hurt her the same way she hurt you, you couldn’t imagine putting her through that. Even if it meant sacrificing your own blood.

“Fuck!” **_Smack_**. “You!” _**Smack**_. “Too!” _**Smack**_. “Late!” _**Smack**_. “Bitch!” _**SMACK**_. She had straddled you as she continued to beat you, using both her fists to punch you. You could do nothing but sob and scream, but that was what human love was, right?

 

Sometimes they hurt you, but it’s okay.

 

It’s just a cultural thing.

 

...Right?

 

* * *

 

It was four in the morning, and you were sitting at the breakfast table, alone.

That’s how you felt most of the time on the meteor.

Very alone.

Murky green tears fell from your eyes as you quietly sobbed, holding a bag of ice to your face. This time was worse than the others, she’d severely damaged your nose too.

“…Kanaya? What the hell are you doing here?”

You ducked your face immediately as you heard Karkat’s voice. “Oh, nothing. I just couldn’t sleep. I’m fine Karkat, I promise.” _Lies_. He knew what was up. He was the only one who knew after you told him when it first began.

“…Again?”

You nodded. 

He sighed as he retreated from the room. A while ago, in a fit of anger, you told him that his condolences weren’t helping, and ever since, he hasn’t tried to help you with your problem.

You still wished that one day, you’d have the courage to stand up to Rose. 

 

But you’re not a hero.

 

You deserve the title of “fuckup”. That’s all you are.

 

And all you'll ever be.


End file.
